My mind is a place nobody visits. Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and question myself if i’m enough. Enough for this city, enough for this place, enough for life, enough for her. I’ve lost everything once, and i wouldn’t like to lose it all over again. I am afraid. Not of who, of what. Just afraid. I love her so much i can feel the stings in my chest when i listen to her name. She’s everything i ever wanted, but perhaps that’s too much for me. I think i will find out only the day i will marry her. I am afraid i don’t deserve such a gift in my life. Due to all the things i’ve been through, i got used to the scars and all the pain. Got used to the silence and the loneliness. She makes me feel a person, she makes me feel alive. Makes me to notice that life is worth fighting for, and work for. I don’t know why i have such distorted images in my head sometimes. Again i say, i am just afraid, life scares the hell out of me. She is my first thought in the morning and my last thought before i sleep. My heart and her’s and i’m her’s too, body, love and soul. Distance may divide us apart, but i always carry her with me. I always had bad times, and she’s been through a lot either. We are just lovers in the rain, and our love is an umbrella. Life is tough, and reality keeps punching me hard. But i will never give up on my dream, which is spent the rest of my life by her side. I don’t usually pray, but i am praying this time. God, please be good to me. They say good things come for those who wait. I will wait as longer as it’s needed. I will do everything i can to hold her, give her all my love and care, make her feel the most happy woman in the world. But please God, release me from these nightmares and these evil thoughts. Because the best of me has always she in, and the best of me it’s the least i can give to her. She’s everything i ever wanted, and everything i will ever need.


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